I started school without speaking any English. Making friends felt impossible, and I spent much of that year on my own. Those lonely months shaped me in ways I couldn’t understand at the time, teaching me resilience, independence, and how much a simple act of kindness can mean to someone who feels invisible. They also showed me that friendship takes courage, and that you often have to make the first move. Those lessons became part of who I was and changed the way I treated people for the rest of my life.
I went from having a wonderful group of friends in sixth grade to starting high school without any of my primary school classmates. I found myself alone again, as if I were back in kindergarten. But this time, I already knew how friendships were built, and I quickly found my place once more.
By the time I graduated high school, I felt a genuine sense of belonging and had formed many meaningful friendships. That ability to connect with others has stayed with me into adulthood. Looking back, I believe those hard times made me a softer, more compassionate person.
Today, I am fortunate to remain close to friends from primary school, high school, university, and every stage of life since. I cherish those friendships because they are a testament to the enduring value of investing in relationships and showing genuine care for one another.
Now, as a mother, I try to pass those lessons on to my children, reminding them that to have good friends, you first have to be one: kind, inclusive, and thoughtful. But I also know some lessons can’t be taught, only lived.
It breaks my heart to watch from the sidelines when they feel left out or lonely. Every instinct tells me to step in and protect them, but I hope these moments instead build their character, strengthen their resilience, and teach them empathy, just as they did me. If they learn to include others because they know what exclusion feels like, then their struggles may become one of life’s greatest gifts, not only for them but for everyone they meet.