Thursday, 3 July 2008

coming out of the shoe closet

It all began when Cinderella lost one of her glass slippers on the steps of the palace, with Prince Charming in hot pursuit. The Prince pocketed the slipper, vowing to find and marry the maiden to whom it belonged. Women from all over town flocked to try on the glass slipper, each hoping it would secure her own Happily Ever After. 

Shoe fanatics claim that shoes bring them joy. I found this amusing because I didn't share or understand their shoe enthusiasm. My older sister had a penchant for outrageously high stilettos and provided me with a vast collection of shoes to wear. I didn't need to shop for shoes because my sister was my generous supplier, trying to convert me to her passion. While I appreciated shoes like any other article of clothing, I didn't love them. I blamed shoes for making women status-conscious, superficial, and fiscally irresponsible. Have you noticed how shoe-crazy women are often portrayed as heroines in Hollywood shows and movies?

For years, I wore my sister's stunning shoes without a care for their brands or origins. My interest was minimal because I had no attachment to what adorned my feet. Luckily, my sister had expensive taste, and I received compliments every time I stepped out in her stilettos. Strangers often stopped me on the streets to inquire about *my* shoes, and I always redirected the credit to my sister. I became the envy of all my friends because I had an endless supply of fabulous shoes. A couple of years ago, my sister moved overseas, but on her visits back home, she'd bring new additions to her shoe family. 

Before her last visit, she sent a warning: her shoes had better be in their correct boxes, not scattered all over my room. Upon her return, she was horrified to find a dozen of her shoes damaged. She took them in for emergency repair, and the cobbler joked if someone had run over her "children" because of their condition. I have no idea how it happened, but I likely damaged the shoes unintentionally. I'm guilty of dragging my feet and taking heavy steps, and perhaps hopping onto park benches on my way to and from work contributed. Shockingly, my shoe supply ceased. My sister cut me off, tired of buying new shoes for me, only to see them destroyed one heel at a time. It pains my sister deeply when her shoes get scratched, scarring them for the rest of her life. 

I managed fine without new shoes, content with the three pairs I adored from her last visit. But after a few months, things changed. While sitting innocently on the train, I glanced down at my feet and noticed scratches on my pretty Mary Janes. Those scratches weren't there yesterday, or were they? I looked away, but the ache in my chest lingered.  

Oh. My. Gosh. I had fallen in love with shoes. 

It was a slow and steady descent. In hindsight, I was in denial. Wearing nice shoes always made me feel good, yet I avoided the commitment of purchasing and caring for them. To make up for lost time, I bought four pairs of stilettos in one week. Whether you're a fan of SATC or not, you have to admit that Carrie Bradshaw has brought our inner shoe-obsessed selves out of the closet and into the mainstream. We just need to set ourselves a budget to control our infatuation. 

Modern women have given up trying to squeeze into the glass slipper, realising that even if the shoe doesn't fit, happiness can still be found in the nearest shoe boutique, offering different shapes, colours, and sizes. I believe women love shoes because finding not only a pair, but the right pair that fits perfectly, provides a defining sense of self and independence, reminding us that we now have choices.

Friday, 20 June 2008

3 men and a little lady

Last night was a special occasion as the boys and I went out to celebrate JY's job promotion. If we were in a sitcom, our ratings would hit the roof. I know that you should never base anything on a survey of one, especially when it's yourself. But, I do find myself uniquely qualified as a valid control group. My confidence in the success of our sitcom is based on the comfortable group dynamic we share, with fantastic conversations that intertwine with strings of awesome jokes that we bounce off one another.

We can discuss deep topics such as understanding God's grace and expressing our Christian faith, as well as kooky Facebook stalking tendencies and other embarrassing anecdotes. Our common mission to search for JY's True Love provides an interesting avenue to examine the unwritten rules of dating and our relationship expectations.

Praise God for JY's new position as he climbs the corporate ladder, but most importantly - praise God for our saving grace and all the gifts He has bestowed upon us, especially the gift of friendship.


Wednesday, 18 June 2008

head in the sand

At some point, we all struggle to face the big issues in our lives, and it's common to go into denial, ignoring our mistakes and hoping our problems will disappear. Turning a blind eye is tempting because when we can't see something, it seems to cease to exist.

Facing the realities of life can be stressful, painful, and admittedly embarrassing, especially when we are personally accountable for our actions. During my rebellious phase in senior high, I made excuses or denied all blame to disguise my failures. As I got older and took on more responsibilities, it wasn't as easy to bury my head in the sand.

We often choose ignorance because accepting accountability to God, rather than to material things, would require us to change our lives. We should live the life He chooses for us rather than following our human desires.

Thanks to a kind reminder from my fellow Christian friends, I will repent by tackling my issues and stop impersonating a human ostrich - burying my head in the sand was only fun when I didn't fear God, who is both fair and very forgiving.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

email

I archived my personal emails in a private Hotmail account. Did you know Hotmail clears your inbox if the account is inactive for 4-6 weeks?

I did.

Back when I was sentimental, I’d log into my private account every now and then to keep it active. But life happened, and I stopped signing in for a while. Tonight, I discovered my inbox empty. Gone are the personal emails dating back to 1997 - the one from my first boyfriend in 9th grade. Love notes, breakups, makeups, and all my high school correspondence with my best friends. Over a decade of documented drama, vanished.

Next, my hard drive might decide to end it all, erasing files from 1999 and digital photos from 2002. But I won’t panic; I’ve backed up everything onto DVDs and an external hard drive. I could’ve backed up my emails too, but in a way, I wanted to let go and didn’t have the heart to delete them myself.