fun

One of my favourite pastimes is searching for toys from my youth, seeking to revisit the nostalgic memories of my childhood. While sentimentality plays a significant role in my collection, it isn't the only reason. Sometimes, I purchase these toys purely for the joy they bring. Acquiring a unique and cherished item brings a sense of delight, wonder, and childlike excitement.

My friends were intensely dedicated to collecting these plush toys and one of them went to great lengths, visiting multiple McDonald’s branches to hunt for a missing Snoopy. The amount of Happy Meals they consumed in their quest to acquire the whole set was nothing short of astounding. I didn’t partake in the frenzied pursuit of these toys, confident that I would eventually find the complete series on eBay. As it turned out, my intuition was correct and I was able to obtain the entire collection without going through the hassle and stress of searching for each individual piece... 21 years later.

Fun is a desperately underrated benchmark by which we assess our quality of life. We often apply seemingly more 'adult' measurements to our investments in education, career paths, financial stability, or relationships. These are important, meaningful criteria shaping major life decisions, forming a checklist we hope will make us better and happier individuals. While necessary, these aspects can be painfully boring without their radical counterpart: fun.

Why do we not seek fun, or worse, forget about it entirely? Frivolous, innocent, clean fun - the kind that makes you feel like a kid again.

dollhouse

I spent my childhood daydreaming about having nice things and a Dollhouse was on top of my wish list. My parents did not buy me one, but my dad worked for a factory that manufactured hospital furniture and he brought home the “faulty” tables for my sister and I to play with.

I improvised by placing a blanket over the table and pretended that it was a dollhouse caravan. It was a challenge to push it on our carpet floor, so my arms got a great workout. Good times.

Maybe I shouldn’t deprive my children of the opportunity to be creative and innovative, and just give them a broken hospital table to play with.

fall out boy

The tongue is our most handy and powerful organ. We use it to taste, swallow, and speak. It is sensitive, sensual, practical, and destructive. In its beneficial mode, it can lavish praise, deliver engaging presentations, teach, offer insightful advice, provide comfort and support, resolve problems, build friendships, and forge strong bonds.

In its most harsh manner, it can be used to tear us down with disrespectful words, initiate rumours and lies, spread gossip, destroy reputations, and dismantle relationships. The most detrimental use of the tongue is for gossiping. The popularity of the tabloid press confirms the power of gossip and its significant impact on our lives. “It’s just so entertaining,” we say.

I admit to this toxic habit, defending it as harmless fun driven by curiosity or boredom, without malicious intent. However, I have recently realised that gossip is a misdeed not only to those slandered but also to those manipulated in the process. Even if the information shared is true, no one appreciates being talked about, and it is neither kind nor appropriate to discuss someone else’s business.

Words once spoken can never be taken back; they don’t have wings, yet they can fly a thousand miles. Think before you speak. “Words cut deeper than knives. A knife can be pulled out, but words are embedded into our souls.”

Gossiping never ends well, but it at least tests people’s loyalty, filters out false friends, and reveals who truly supports you.

eleven

Here is what marriage has taught me about love: it isn’t merely a feeling, nor is it about words. Love is an active choice that you make regularly to not only perform grand gestures but also, and especially, to carry out mundane tasks like taking out the garbage or homeschooling your children during a pandemic lockdown. That’s weirdly the most romantic thing of all.

The actions woven into the decisions and daily sacrifices you make, over and over again, to improve someone else’s life - to pay attention and show adoration, to nurture their physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental health, to help them grow - are what truly matter. Words are like the air on top of the icing, meaningless without the cake of action.

Connection may be instantaneous, and attraction may be magical, but maintaining love is not. It requires hard work. The chemistry just makes it more fun, not easier.

Eleven years ago today, we chose to fly the covenant banner together on the ‘us versus the world’ team.

Happy 11th wedding anniversary, RD!