staples

I wish I had invented staples. Now, that probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but has anybody really stopped to think about those little metal things? Staples are freaking awesome! I bet the inventor of staples didn't expect they would become an office and school essential. How cool would it be to be able to say that you are the founder of staples?

In the movie 'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion', two quirky women attend their homecoming and tell people that they created Post-it Notes. Can you believe it? Why would they try to impress the alumni with Post-it Notes when staples are obviously more incredible? I mean, staples may even be more amazing than glue. I know, it's incomprehensible, but seriously.

Staples are versatile and have multiple functions, such as holding piles of paper together and securing posters onto a wall. Surgical staples are used to close incisions after a medical procedure, but they could also serve as annoying flicking devices and even weapons. My seventh-grade English teacher threatened us on a daily basis that she would staple our lips to her bumper and drive to the next suburb. Post-it Notes could never be used as weapons since they barely stick to your computer screen, so unless you're planning to paper-cut someone to death, you wouldn’t stand a chance against an opponent armed with a staple gun.

pet names

My friend's girlfriend told me her funny pet name for him, and being the mature person that I am, I sent him an email addressing him by that name. The email led to a discussion about the pet names that couples have for each other. I've never been one to give my significant other a corny nickname. Pet names such as schnookums, honey, bunny, babe, and even bacon (?) really make me cringe. I've had previous boyfriends call me those nicknames, and I wasn't comfortable with them.

I referred to my ex-boyfriends by their first names or names that I made up because I couldn't pronounce their real names. I started to think that there was something wrong with me, so I tried calling my boyfriend "bub." It didn't work out. He told me that he didn't like the sound of it. Ah, it's always good to be in such an honest relationship. I put on my creative cap and started calling him "hey boyfriend" in my text messages. Or I'd just text him as RD. I'm relieved that we're not mushy towards each other. He throws in "baby" once in a while when he's feeling affectionate. Initially, I didn't like the pet name "baby," but it's actually alright when my boyfriend uses it. He can certainly pull it off. Yes, there's definitely no bias there.