I wish I had invented staples. Now, that probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but has anybody really stopped to think about those little metal things? Staples are freaking awesome! I bet the inventor of staples didn't expect they would become an office and school essential. How cool would it be to be able to say that you are the founder of staples?
In the movie 'Romy and Michele's High School Reunion', two quirky women attend their homecoming and tell people that they created Post-it Notes. Can you believe it? Why would they try to impress the alumni with Post-it Notes when staples are obviously more incredible? I mean, staples may even be more amazing than glue. I know, it's incomprehensible, but seriously.
Staples are versatile and have multiple functions, such as holding piles of paper together and securing posters onto a wall. Surgical staples are used to close incisions after a medical procedure, but they could also serve as annoying flicking devices and even weapons. My seventh-grade English teacher threatened us on a daily basis that she would staple our lips to her bumper and drive to the next suburb. Post-it Notes could never be used as weapons since they barely stick to your computer screen, so unless you're planning to paper-cut someone to death, you wouldn’t stand a chance against an opponent armed with a staple gun.