blast from the past

"Never waste your time thinking about someone from the past...they didn't make it to your future for a reason."

So, what do you do when you’re blissfully enjoying your McFlurry at McDonald’s and your ex walks in? Not just any ex, but The Ex - the one who hurt you unnecessarily. Naturally, you strike up a conversation. Yesterday, I ran into my ex-boyfriend. He’s still funny, suave, and good-looking, but he didn’t take my breath away. More lukewarm than hot. We chatted for a bit and even agreed to catch up.

Years ago, being friends with him was at the top of my wish list. Back then, he wanted nothing to do with me and blocked me after we broke up. We eventually became civil but rarely saw each other. Now, my blast from the past wants to hang out. I can already hear the objections from everyone, but fair warning: my selective hearing is fully activated.

I used to have recurring dreams about him wanting to be friends again because, as you know, I’m a bit obsessive. I’ve invested a lot of hope, birthday wishes, and camped out too many nights waiting for shooting stars to let this chance slip away. I’m embracing his friendship for old times’ sake. I owe it to the stalker girl in me; she’s been waiting for this day. After very little thought, I’ve decided it’s okay to enjoy his company. We both feel that it’s healthy now. I love our witty banter, but I don’t like him that way anymore.

It’s harmless to think about someone from the past if they stumble into your present, but only if you don’t see them the same way anymore. He might have occupied my mind six years ago, but that’s ancient history now.

misconception

I'm still here. I just don't feel like writing.

It's fascinating how I can sometimes mislead people with my writing, as if they can decipher my entire character through my blog entries. Some take my words too literally. Just because you read these words doesn't mean you truly know me.

Perfect strangers might form an impression of me based on what I portray here. You're free to make assumptions, but please don't assume you understand my mind just from reading my thoughts. Remember, I choose what to share.

However, it stings when someone close reveals a character flaw you never knew existed. When we're angry, our words can cut deep, making you question how well they really know you.

Everyone keeps secrets; no one reveals their true self entirely. We all hold back a part of ourselves. It would be wonderful to find someone who knows me so well that even if I act out of character, they wouldn't judge me. Someone who understands my personality so deeply that nothing negative I do would change their opinion of me. No one's perfect, and I'm certainly not, but perhaps one day I'll meet someone who sees me as perfect for them.

cattiness

It's been my experience that I find it easier to communicate with male employers in job interviews. They tend to be more accommodating and pleasant compared to female employers, who can sometimes come across as more competitive. I think I prefer working under male supervisors because they seem more understanding and compassionate. I've noticed weird tension with all my previous female bosses, maybe I am a lesbian? Just kidding.

I don't want to disparage my own gender, but I've found that females can sometimes be difficult to work with. There can be elements of competitiveness and assertiveness that come off as challenging. Men, on the other hand, are straightforward; you do your job well, and they're happy with your performance. They rarely question your methods. From a professional standpoint, it seems tougher to meet a woman's expectations across the board!

stuck in a rut

Looking for a new job is a bit like searching for a new boyfriend. You start with an idea of what you want, read through job descriptions that catch your eye, and go on interviews hoping to find the right fit. It's a bit like dating—juggling different companies can be exhausting.

Like dating, companies can look promising from a distance, but after the interview, you realise it's not the right match. I'm eager for a new job, but I refuse to settle for just any position. After three interviews, I'm starting to appreciate my current job more. It's like being in a long-term relationship where occasional doubts make you wonder what else is out there. People leave relationships for various reasons, often because they're not ready to settle down and want to explore other options. However, playing the field isn't always as exciting as it seems. You might go on numerous dates in search of Mr Right, only to settle for Mr Right Now.

Knowing what you want can be harder than knowing what you don't want. For instance, I know I don't want a job with an 8:30am start time or a long commute. Seeing what else is out there has made me realise how good I have it now. My current company is ranked highly as a great place to work, and it's globally recognised.

Roaming the CBD for job prospects is exhausting. Meeting new companies and exploring new opportunities has dampened my enthusiasm. After these interviews, I can confidently say that none of the other companies come close to matching what I have now. There was no spark, no chemistry. I doubt I'll find another boss as nice as mine or an office located conveniently near food courts and a train station. I truly appreciate where I am.

Sure, my current job has its challenges and unresolved issues, but maybe it's worth giving it another chance. After being here for a while, perhaps a bit more patience could make it even better. Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in a rut, but there's a comfort in knowing I have something stable to rely on. For now, I'm content in my rut because it's mine.