Do you remember the first time when you liked someone and they liked you back? It's been a while, but I reminisce about those innocent days filled with optimism and hope. Uncorrupted by a messy history, uncluttered by heart-rending experiences, you were ready to trust, to fall in love, and to live happily ever after.
It's been so long since I acted silly, and I want to feel like a carefree kid again. I miss being a teenager, being able to act stupidly cute because a crush noticed my attempts to grab his attention. I miss catching the late bus just to glimpse his wonderful smile, flirting like an amateur, and holding his hand as if it were made for mine. Puppy love is such a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Have you ever caught yourself comparing a new relationship to a previous one? There was a phase when I thought I'd never like another guy because I was so head-over-heels in love with my ex-boyfriend. Maybe it was because it was my first love, leading me to assume we can only have one great love in our life?
I think it's time to bid farewell to those old feelings. I don't want to overlook any new potential feelings. I love the rush of liking someone new—the butterflies, the inability to eat or sleep because you're so smitten (yeah, I can be obsessive, I mean passionate like that). It's sad to leave my comfort zone and seek happiness elsewhere, but my comfort zone now feels cold and deserted, and you know how I hate being home alone...
It's already November. The year is almost over, and it's been raining for the last few days. I hope it continues until next year—a fitting way to bid farewell to 2004.