We often hold onto the hope that one day, the right person will come along, and together, we’ll glide through life together like seasoned ice skaters—flawless, effortless, and in perfect harmony. But when we inevitably stumble and fall, we can’t help but wonder why relationships, once so promising, seem so difficult.
Some people are relationship junkies who can’t handle being single. They need someone, anyone, to avoid the dreaded abyss of loneliness. Then there are those desperate to find their soulmate, but how can you rush a soulmate? I know a girl who’s searching for a perfect 10 despite never even meeting a solid 7. She’s looking in all the wrong places and making a lot of mistakes. Maybe soulmates are overrated.
Some couples marry someone they don’t consider a soulmate, finding compatibility and growing into love. My grandparents are an example. My grandfather wasn’t attracted to my grandmother at all when they met—he was in love with someone else. But an arranged marriage forced by his father led to 60 years of togetherness. They grew to love each other through the family they built. It’s touching but lacks the fiery passion that some might crave.
Then there are the one-sided relationships. Both parties may start with good intentions, but once the honeymoon phase ends, only one is doing all the loving. It’s not that the other partner is doing anything wrong—they’re just not doing anything at all.
And let’s not forget the missed opportunities—the sliding door moments we regret not seizing. Countless friends of mine lament the one that got away, or the potential that never had a chance to blossom. Worse, it could have happened, but neither person took the leap.
Let’s indulge in a bit of hopeless romanticism. Some couples meet randomly, fall in love, and live happily ever after. It does happen.
I’m not as jaded as I might seem. I just pretend to be, because let’s face it, depressed people are more interesting and mysterious, right? It’s all a façade to give my writing some depth. I’m actually a happy-go-lucky girl without real problems—aside from the ones I create for myself.
Relationships are tough because they balance two conflicting human drives: the desire for independence and the need for connection. Many couples struggle with being either too separate or too clingy.
I once read a metaphor: We are all born into the river of life in our own boats. You can’t hop into my boat and live your life, and I can’t get into yours and live mine. Trouble arises when we try to climb into each other’s boats. We each have to paddle our own and negotiate the river’s currents. Sometimes, we may choose to paddle close together, in sync, toward a mutual destination—like marriage.
Today’s sermon on John 19:28-30 was about God’s love for us. Jesus models sacrificial love, loving others for their benefit without putting ourselves first. He showed this most when he died on the cross for us.
But we’re not God, so we struggle with our worldly affairs. Before we can perfect our relationships with each other, we should develop and maintain our relationship with God. The rest will fall into place.