tense

Somewhere between 6 and 7 in the morning, amidst blind grabbing for my mobile phone and repeatedly silencing the snooze button, I tossed and turned amid erratic dreams of those who once were. I remembered the people who left me behind, or rather those I left behind and couldn't retrieve. It still hurts when I poke at the memory. The cavity between my ribs when I roused was a painful awakening because I thought I was over it. It only took an innocent conversation with some girlfriends about emotional baggage for the nostalgia to rudely interrupt my subconscious once again.

I dreaded the lonely car ride to work this morning, as it would have given me too much time to over-analyse my dreams and drive me to insanity. I asked RD to accompany me and, because of his loving nature and observant trait, he must have sensed the urgency and desperation in my voice and agreed without questioning. I appreciated the gesture, knowing it would be an inconvenience for him since he had to take the train to the city from my office due to the terrible peak-hour traffic.

Our drive was lovely. We talked about our dreams, and he lightened my mood by recalling the nightmare he had about his battle with two giant spiders. I confided in him, and he gave me his philosophy on dealing with past issues. At one of the traffic lights, he leaned over and kissed me mid-sentence. I didn't expect the display of affection and melted when he pulled me in for a hug, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. His romantic stunt really made my day, and I can still feel the warmth of his hug. I love hugs. I can't think of anything more comforting than a timely, firm bear hug from someone who genuinely cares. Sometimes, when we're fighting and no words of affirmation are convincing enough, a hug can win the hardest argument.

As RD weaved through the busy traffic, I gazed blankly out the window, feeling the sad residue from my dream and being choked by my thoughts of the past. I felt someone's warm hand pressed on mine, and when I turned to my right, I saw my handsome present and future smiling back at me.

photo album

While going through my photos archive for Caz's wedding slide show, I stumbled across this webcam photo of little Shirley!

I also discovered some horrific photos from High School, someone should have told me to pluck my eyebrows, seriously.

the escen

August was all about getting my ducks in a row, drawing up plans for the months ahead. September and October are when those ducks (hopefully) start marching in formation. There have been some new developments that I haven't shared on my blog because, let's face it, sometimes sharing isn't really caring. I usually avoid turning my blog into a play-by-play report, but I need to timestamp a few events for future reference.

I moved to the Inner West temporarily to see if I could hack it away from home. Spoiler alert: I couldn't. After seven weeks, I was back home with my family (pets included), boyfriend, and friends. I realised I had plenty of freedom, privacy, and independence at home, and the only perk of living away was being closer to work. I rented a furnished resort apartment, but thanks to the chilly weather, I didn't enjoy the facilities. Not that it mattered much since I don't play tennis, swim like a rock, and break out in hives at the thought of exercise. The sauna, though, I genuinely missed out on. Kat helped me move out, and we took a grand tour of the resort, pretending we were on a luxury holiday.

In other news, I bought my first investment property. I expected some fanfare when the settlement happened, but all I got was a phone call from my solicitor saying, "Congratulations, the settlement was completed at 2:30pm." No flowers, no fanfare, just a 30-year mortgage and a sobering look at my financial statements.

The whole process wrapped up in less than a month, and I've learned that it's not what you know, but who you know. I was blessed with a team of professionals who charged me mates' rates and pulled a few all-nighters to make the transaction smooth. Good help is hard to buy, but with strong friendships and trust, you can earn it.