Work is really relaxing, and I can go at my own pace. I usually don't mind the laid-back environment, but I'm starting to feel that my job isn't challenging enough. I used to work at a mind-numbing job and would resort to doing word or number puzzles just to get some brain exercise, as I could feel my brain deteriorating. I think I'll die of boredom if I don't stimulate my mind. I'm always deep in thought, but occasionally, I find myself worrying about trivial things. I need to channel my thoughts to serious matters. Instead of shopping on eBay for better value, I should focus on how to save my money for the future. Instead of assessing which restaurants are fine to dine at, I should consider taking up cooking classes to prepare myself for married life someday.
I plan to make plans. I'm guilty of thinking, "there's always tomorrow." I waste too much time. Like right now, I should be catching up on my reading, but here I am, writing about how I plan to catch up on my reading. I procrastinate too often. Then there are the times when distractions get the best of me. I check emails, blog, check eBay, and surf for random stuff on the net.
Maybe I get overwhelmed too easily. I get too tired thinking about daily things. How did I handle life at 19 when I juggled two casual jobs, studied full-time, and squeezed in a social life too? When I was feeling adventurous, I also threw a love life into my busy schedule.
I feel like the less responsibility I have, the more stressed out I am over those responsibilities. I've been busying myself with personal and church commitments, but I still feel like I'm not doing enough. I was able to juggle multiple tasks in the past, but I've gone rusty and I'm not on top of my game anymore. My workday planner is rarely filled up, but just one or two errands would get me worked up. A blank page fills me with despair. I can't seem to find the right balance.