lines that I don't like to hear (in no particular order)

"Aww, but Julienne, I just like you as a friend." Denial.

"You're so pretty, Jules, but your sister is prettier." I guess it's okay to come second to your big sister.

"I can't think of anyone that I'd rather be with than you, but I don't want a girlfriend at the moment." Stupid boy.

"My friend thinks that you look like a HK star, but you're too short." Bittersweet? I'm not even Chinese.

"You look better without makeup. It's not because I don't like girls with makeup, but because you can't put it on properly." I'm going to wear as much eyeliner as I want, dammit!

Sometimes people make comments about me that I don't know how to interpret, and whether I should take them as compliments or insults... 🤨🤔😳

break ups and make ups

Everyone agrees that the best time is the beginning, the honeymoon period, when everything feels new, exciting, and problem-free. But after a while, spending so much time with one person means they will inevitably annoy you.

When I think about it, problems don’t just appear out of nowhere; they’re caused by the people involved. Often, what we call problems are actually trivial issues we blow out of proportion to add drama. A small problem, if encouraged, can grow into a bigger one. Sometimes people just need to be quiet. Talking too much can create new problems. When I was in a relationship, I wish I had said, “Can we just drop it, please?” Letting go of petty issues would have stopped them from snowballing into long-term damage. 

It would be so much simpler if we could just close that bad chapter and start fresh. That’s why I love reading novels or watching movies. They let me escape into another world. If things get overwhelming, I can simply close the book or turn off the screen and come back to my life. I’m not into suspense or overly dramatic stories. They create an unrealistic burden, and sometimes I fast-forward to the calm parts. Why let it stir me up? I prefer comedies or chick flicks because I want to be entertained and laugh. Sorry if that doesn’t make me seem “deep.” 

But life isn’t a book or a movie. You can’t slam it shut or fast-forward through the hard parts. Time waits for no one. We live each day unaware that life is the longest thing we’ll ever experience. I have many regrets because of mistakes I can never undo. That hasn’t stopped me from making new ones - maybe I’m just testing my limits. Even though I’m no longer in a relationship, I still have baggage with him. After every unnecessary fight, I’m left to pick up the pieces. Each argument leaves marks on our relationship, and the stains are harder to wash away. 

When I try to fix things, I often make them worse, and everything becomes more tangled over time. It used to be easy to kiss and make up, but now, without being a couple, there’s no obligation to compromise. It’s easier to let go when you’re not committed. After surviving yet another “world war” between us, I’ve promised myself to be more civilized. People should learn to control themselves during conflicts with loved ones. 

Things might seem bleak now, but the future is unpredictable. We may get back together someday or we may not. Either way, it’s healthier to let go of a failing relationship while some care still remains. If I drag it out to the bitter end and keep sabotaging our friendship, he might end up hating me and closing the door forever. Walking away gracefully leaves room for a future connection, even if it’s just as good friends.

nine west

Last night, my sister and I attended the Nine West (shoes) boutique event in Double Bay to celebrate the launch of their new spring line. Sparkling champagne, fresh strawberries, finger foods, and live saxophone music created an atmosphere of class and elegance. Upon arrival, we were each given a raffle ticket for a surprise drawing. At the end of the launch, they announced a winner for a Nine West handbag, which looked less impressive than its valued price.

The room was filled with about twenty shoe-obsessed ladies who seemed to be in heaven. My sister's eyes lit up at the sight of the rows of shoes surrounding us; I've never seen her happier. She bought a pair of slip-on stilettos, lured by the special 20% discount. Fickle! My only opinion about the stilettos was, "Those heels aren't that high, are they going to make me look taller?"

The new season's spring selection featured bright, vibrant colors and patterns. Everyone was in awe of the new line of shoes that Nine West carried, except for me. I was more preoccupied with eating the complimentary strawberries. While the other sophisticated women made small talk and sipped their champagne, I was slurping my iced water and nagging my sister, "Can we go now?"

There was only one guy present at the launch, and he seemed more excited about the shoes than I was. He seemed mildly gay or just overly gentle and feminine. My favorite part of the launch was when they gave us gift bags on our way out. The bag was full of goodies! Girls and their obsessions with shoes - I will never understand it.

tell sox that i love him

This morning, like every other morning, I debated whether to wake up for either work or uni. Waking up is the hardest part of my day; I'm still sleepy after I get dressed, and it's only when I'm on my way to the train station that I fully wake up. My mum drives me to the station every morning, and let's just say she is not the best driver in the world.

When you're sitting in the car with my mother, you have to be focused because it's vital to scream out, "Mum, watch out! There's a car next to us!" when she blindly changes lanes. It's also important to be aware of your surroundings, especially when you turn to look outside and find your car almost being squashed by a big truck. Don't be alarmed if you notice that your car is driving too close to the edge of the road - 1cm from the curb and about to hit that cute innocent little boy on his bicycle. Resist the urge to strangle yourself with the seatbelt (even if it seems like a more appealing fate) because, somehow, the mother figure has everything under control. 😬

Being stuck in this death seat every morning has taught me to be wide awake as my life hangs in the balance. My mum has her Gold license, mind you, but like most older Asian women, she can't drive for peanuts. I dare not speak to her while she's driving, as it would distract her from the road and kill us both. I listen to her talk, though; she sees this as an opportunity to bond. Maybe it's because it feels like we're both in our deathbeds, so it's a good time to discuss life (and sometimes love). I always just nod and say, "Uh-huh," because unlike my sister, I don't talk to my mum about my "problems."

My mum always says to me, "Don't be angry at people; you're the only one who will suffer because they don't know or care that you're angry at them. They will go on living their life happily while you struggle emotionally." Mother is not wrong there. So yes, let's not be angry and let's just all be friends. Group hug, everyone!